Wednesday, September 25, 2013


Unbelievable. that it had been only 3 weeks in this university taking architecture course and i've already labelled it as torturing. it's not because i hate this course. i love it very much that i can bear it till now, even though we're absolutely lack of sleep and eat recently. it's that... something just wrong with this place that im learning. the system... so stressing.

I know that some of my friends who currently taking this course are gonna leave it. away from architecture. i know how they feel. but it's totally making me sad. i'm in an uncontrollable emotion now, going up and down drastically. yet when some of them are leaving, i'm feeling hopeless. but i'm not weak. i could do it by myself inshaa Allah. i'm a strong mama's daughter. :')

unpleasant rumors about this life that i'm going through, it's increasing from day to day. i heard  it. even though i don't wanna to. because these kind of rumors just killing me day to day. i just wanna put earphone on both ears and max the volume. i don't wanna hear anything more! i wanna proceed with my passion. my hurtful passion.

this sounds so pathetic isn't it. only Allah knows how it feels. only Allah knows how much i changed since the commencement in this institution. no matter what others said, how bad this system is, how lifeless this architecture would be, i wanna stay. because i believe, if we do something diligently with sincerity, with the aim to please Allah, He will definitely help us. the key is PATIENT.

Allahu akbar!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

Bright new spirit.

since my first intake in bachelor of science (architecture) in iium gombak (last week) i become a different me. why i said so....don't you believe me? haha it's true. i was brainwashed many times by people around me, mostly by my friends and lecturers. the first day had been wonderfully discouraged by the lecturer when she treated us as if we're second or third year student. she didn't brief the subject in proper manner so we aggrieved for so many times. speechless with how the things are get going. we're like "whaddaheq is going on? what kinda class is this?" hm unfortunately.

from the foundation centre of this course i realized that most of the lecturers are kinda discouraging. i think i know why but not robustly. there are still things that i didn't discover yet. maybe after i become a lecturer? maybe.

so here's some words of wisdom for myself. to motivate this low self esteem girl. but if u wanna read it then go on i don't care. :p

please just stand on your true ambition.
no need to care about how much people look down on this field, 
no need to worry much about those unpleasant words from your lecturers and friends,
lecturers, they might have experience but they don't know your true ability.
friends, they might be right but they just right in their own way,
maybe if they don't like to proceed the challenge together with you, it might be better for their future.
so just don't stick to their words and lifestyle. 
u already have your own.

you are who you are,
don't let people change your dream
if you don't have anyone to rely on, just rely to Allah
because the truth is, you are living alone in this world.
eventually you'll need to do everything by yourself.
no people to help.
so be tough and independent.

o self,
do you remember your true goal which is to please Allah?
the one and only goal.
no matter in what kinda things u do to please Allah,
He had already prepare one for you.
He had already leave one special road for you to get through.
just get into it even though there's so many obstacles
because other roads are having obstacles that you yourself can't bear.
don't u forgot that each people have different talent to achieve success in their life?


always keep in mind to make your parents proud of you.
to make those two people who raised you for million dolars of money and energy plus with love,
make their heart say unconsciously that 
"it's been a blessed to have a child like u , Alhamdulillah."
make them feel worthy to have an excellent child.
a useful person to society.

please and please, delete all those unnecessary reasons which block your way to success.


that you can do it because nobody could believe you more.
Allah already mentioned in Quran,

Allah does not charge a soul except [with that within] its capacity. It will have [the consequence of] what [good] it has gained, and it will bear [the consequence of] what [evil] it has earned.
(al-baqarah 286)

just do it.