Tuesday, January 28, 2014


Alhamdulillah my praise to Allah, because He made me alive for 20 years. and still given chance to repent and gather deeds as preparation for the akhirah inshaa Allah.

Life is just like between azan and iqamah. we never realize how short it is till we really get the feeling of having God by our side (rasa berTuhan) . The real thing is, most of us are unintentionally putting world first before God *nauzubillah*, just because we're too focusing on worldly life.

I must always remember this. Everything is handled by Allah. so i must use all of my effort and after done doing something, leave it to Allah. Just like the quote, "We do the best, let Allah keep the rest".

As my 20th-years-living-in-this-world-Resolution, i must be someone better. i must make difference. i must aim higher. i must ! and may Allah ease.

Friends, as we're taking steps towards second semester, and if u see me kinda different from what i was in semester 1.. i just want you guys to get used to it. don't be freak by it. i'm just feeling dumb of my past self.

okay that's all. i'm not professional in using pretty words. and anyone read this, i want to ask for forgiveness if i ever hurt or annoyed you. :')

Tuesday, January 14, 2014


"why now? why not since i'm in high school or earlier?"

the sorrowfulness overwhelm myself. feels like i'm such a vain. vain to myself all these times. i know about the things the to-be-exist things that i read back when i was teens (and now imma 20 not a teen anymore) but the poor thing is.....

i never really feel those things.

by what? by imagining how i'm gonna face all those destiny of mine and how it's gonna affect the people around me.

what? you don't get what i'm blabbering around do ya?

the real thing is, i'm talking about the LIFE AFTER DEAD. yes, the life after our soul is been taken violently by the grim reaper(???) that's what the western pepol call them. but we're calling them 'malaikat Izrail'. creep enuf to call its name :'( but i heard that we're lucky if our soul is taken directly by Allah (which means we will never feel the horribly atrocious pain of sakaratul maut), and the key is to read Ayatul Qursi everytime after we had prayed in khusyu' ? i don't know if it's true. tell me if anyone have the real hadith if so.

that's the thing that made me insomnia last night.
and actually it's something good when we remember about afterlife because it could drastically took all our desires towards this temporary worldly life. ALL OF IT. yet...it could really brings nightmares for a less ready person like me.

how i'm gonna face the narrowness of the grave?
how i'm gonna be resurrected from the grave? in what form?
how i'm gonna handle myself alone in the Mahsyar field?
how i'm gonna answer all those questions of my practice in the so short worldly life?
how i'm gonna pass the Siraatul Mustaqim?
how i'm gonna face the extremely HOT HELLFIRE to reckon all the mistakes i've done in the world?

Allah....Allah....Allah. Yaa Jabbar. Yaa Razak. Yaa Rahman.
feel so weak to think about this. truly weak i am.

that why, i need YOU . yes, YOU who are still reading my typing. i need this whole ummah to help me go through all those things and i believe that you are thinking the same too? congrats. we are sisters and brothers. we need to be united in order to achieve one, to achieve Allah 's pleasure. to be together in Jannah. to avoid all the obstacles afterlife by preparing all the deeds needed. it's not enough yet,  never will be enough. our sins are too much...

so let's work together. u remind me when i'm about to forgot, and i remind you when you about to forgot. in any means. can we? if so, thanks. thanks for having intention in helping weak. like me :')

hidup. sementara. akhirat kekal abadi.