Saturday, November 23, 2013

So much for my happy ending

its the end of november, mashaa Allah! its been a very long time i didnt post le entry. haaa teserlah kesibukkannye ecewwah. le title i just pick from the song i'm hearing from the next room. sis sophea is very rugged i love those songs she's hearing ~ hehe ^.^

ok really glad that my mood to type some words of wisdom(ehh?) already come. its been 2 months since my degree life in this lovely college. now i'm enjoying myself alone, pondering on things and reflecting my own personality. owh people must get blurred on what i'm saying hahh, never mind. there's some of the time i need to leave myself alone, no friends around. just to think of all the past mistakes i've done. and also to 'see' through my own heart. is it full of black dots, or some or none(mustahel)? i must recheck.

it's been a very long time too. that i didn't attend any religious programmes. and that really effect me much. REALLY. i could feel the difference between myself in cfs and in this current place. yet i can't take any action..i just let the 'unwanted things' flow through my blood, through my soul.. nauzubillah! i just wanna refrain it. unfortunately once it came, it is hardly to avoid. its hard to describe the feeling. its like u know that thing u've done something wrong, but u have no effort to get over it. pathetic.

maybe because that i let myself busy with the worldly life (like projects, having fun more than it shud be) or maybe...

i was glad that yesterday someone had the courage to 'panggg' me from my daydreaming. she was like 'slashing', 'zzzzuuppp', 'kapowww' me and i was like.. really 'hurt'. but that hurtful situation gives me happiness. because she told me everything that i didnt know before. the things that i merely realize back then. she adviced me. she knocked me out from myself. Alhamdulillah i was really grateful.

i'm happy to acknowledge that i have a friend like her. nobody ever told me about those hurtful reality of myself. thank you Allah. You just filled my empty heart with a good friend. :')