Thursday, June 27, 2013

each person with their different styles.

don't know why this keep happen to me.
feels guilty with no reason.
i think that i didn't do anything wrong like hurting other people *guess so...* 
which is the least thing i can do to comfort people around me *inshaa Allah*
but the feelings keep crawling towards this weak fragile heart.
maybe it's the verdict of all the unconscious sins that i had done?
maybe.
serves me right then.

anyway, i just realized that there are some words that makes me feel insecure.
the words keep shackle and urge me to do something out of my will.
maybe this just one of the things that makes me feel guilty other than those past sins,
keep telling me to do something ridiculous.

please. 
don't push others if they can't, if they have valid reasons for not proceeding your style.
each person have their own unique styles which we never knew 
how their effort would affect others.
don't insist them to do something that you already used to
because only Allah have the Power to give Hidayah.
you can just recommend, not demand.

because each and every of us, Allah had bestowed our own, special style,
whether by words, gestures and attitudes,
to bring someone closer to Him.
which is through da'wah.

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

jaw dropping

The finest day to be in a such dramatic situation was today. it was a nice cool afternoon *currently living in a place with 'pembenihan awan' process*. while busy treating other bebudaks manja, suddenly one of the boys shouted, "Teacher, he's bleeding!" Syadee, 7year old boy was punched only once by a 5 year old boy, and subhanallah, am i watching drama or is this a real thing ? blood was spreading around le nursery, mostly in the bathroom. his nose was totally bleeding and it could not stop! i was tremendously startled and panic like a heaven. eventually the 'little-hero-boy' who punched his member, i have no idea but to be an angry teacher. mahmahmah unfortunately, even though i really hate to scold le naive children. i must.

one of the influence: anime??? haha.
i was mad at the moment, thinking of how this boy is raised. he's a pre-tahfiz pupil, but where's the flaw that his family didn't notice? of course this gullible simple minded boy is not to be blamed, but his parents or siblings.

thusssss. deep in my heart i was actually thinking of what my children would be someday. afraid that they would be like this little boy, as the consequence of busy working and focusing on family financial only. dengg, that's just so pathetic. there's nothing worth but to have soleh and solehah children :'/

am i thinking too far? haha isn't it the right time to think about this matter anyway. another few years i might get married. *joking* to be frank i'm not ready. i'm still a small girl. kekeke.

scratch.finish.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

ikhtilaf itu indah jika

lately i was thinking of this. which is ikhtilaf a.k.a perbezaan pendapat. or mutual counselling maybe? yeah that's that.

i lived 19 years long and alhamdulillah through these black and white sides that i went, i was unconsciously evaluating each of my friends and members and all around me.

guess what? i was mesmerized with this one type of person seldomly. FIRSTLY, this is not considered as backbiting because i'm not mentioning the name~ *so glad huuu* and SECONDLY i'm not quarreling with anyone recently, inspiring me to make this post. not at all. it's just a glance of my thought that had been millions years musty in this untranslated memory. *pepandai la paham*

try to fathom this:

i was telling about 'A' and the people say that 'A' is ok but u should try 'B'. i was clarifying 'C' and the people say that 'B' is great, but you should approach this 'D' thingy, it's better. in other case, i was conveying this 'A solution' but that people ask me back, what will happen to blablabla if we use A' ? 

hmm if you read it in a rush, you'll never get what i meant. this thing sometimes absurd because most of our opinions always have their own opponent, as if we're always the one to be blame (for thinking of the bad solutions?) hurtful isn't it. and most of this thing happen because of someone who thinks that he/she has a better and excellent ideas rather than anyone else. as if they're the only mr./mrs.i-know-everything, and "hey, u should follow my brilliant thinking!" daaaaa.

yes, i admit that some of these people are really awesome and unique by the way they express ideas, even nobody would ever think of what they think. they had been endowed with such a bright brains that each of their points in arguing facts makes sense, people would consider them as a picture perfect person. this is the goodness. i can accept their smart ideas. but when their style of language deliberately denote their cleverness,

I'm sorry. thank you.

pendapat manusia sntiasa brlainan sbgaimana pndapat kucing dgn itik . satu bermeow, satu berquekk.

please don't get me wrong. i'm not the type of person like these people which are fast thinkers. i salute all of them. they always help when i needed. but sometimes i got this uncomfortable feelings by the way they're communicating. i tried to husnuzon, but all that i get is this noticeable manner. arrogant maybe? 

just that... don't ever think that we're better (even 0.1cm) than other person when conveying something important, like knowledge. that's just the award that Allah bestowed upon us. which is TEMPORARY.

ikhtilaf itu indah jika....(continue this sentence in about 100 words)

Sunday, June 9, 2013

Another new challenge.

Sitting in front of the laptop, wondering on what would happen tomorrow. Entertaining myself by playing candy crush, chatting with friends, just to reduce on whatever i am thinking because you know what. I'm a strong thinker. and no, over thinking exactly.

Tomorrow i must get started with a new job. not so new actually, i used to work there last year. and the sequel  is just tomorrow; which is to be a nanny in a children educare home. mehehe.

Actually, it was hectic and tiring to work in a taska. moreover, if i am the only worker there. going to work at 6.50 in the morning and back to home at 6 p.m. and u just got 500 a month. to be frank, the salary is just not right for the period i have to spend a day. ungrateful? yeah some people could assume me that but hey, i am just saying about my rights.

Anyway, i just need to think of the positive way. i don't really want to protect my right because Allah has already decided rezeki for each of us. maybe if the energy i've spend might not be suited with my salary, it will be paid in other way besides of money? moreover, i have to sincere my intention. always remind myself that anything i do is only to seek Allah's pleasure.

So all the best for me tomorrow. this work can teach me for not sleeping after dawn thou. one of the good things to be practiced this holiday :) inshaa Allah, may Allah ease!