Tuesday, May 22, 2012

The past keeps haunting.

while sitting solely without thinking of anything
in the sudden it came
the unforgettable moment of despair
when this brain can't be controlled properly
always hunting for world's entertainment
longing for friends' attention

how lucky the children who were raised 
with very proper and perfect teachings
they learnt to memorize the Holy Quran since 3 years old
they were taught to cover their aurah even when they're still crawling
their manners were always under control
to avoid them astray 
and also apart themselves from the wrongdoers

not meant to blame how my parents took care of me
they're very wonderful
helpful and always tell us to do good deeds
they never concerned of how much money and effort they gave
as long as all of us live happily and in normal condition..

while me
doing things that i shouldn't did
when i was in my primary and secondary school
things that Islam taught us not to
to crave for something unimportant
to be ungrateful of what i had
to befriend with those whom shouldn't be closed to
ignorance overwhelmed
how much black dots clung to this fragile heart
only Allah knows.

the past keeps haunting
even though it is unrepeatable
it'll never be eased easily from the hippocampus
cause it's permanent
and always reminds how fool we were
on the past. 

only one thing for sure
Allah is Forgiving
He will guide us 
as long as we repent
and never have desire to do the same mistakes
indeed, He is Caring
and never want us to seek bad things

may this feel of guilt and repentance last forever..
may Allah always light us with Hidayah
and make these tiny hearts aware of sinful deeds

aamiiin. ya rabbal a'lamiin.

make Allah سبحانه و تعالى as a vision
Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم as an exemplary
and Islam as the way of life.
inshaa Allah we'll find the safest path through afterlife.

scratch. finished.

Sunday, May 13, 2012

Manic monday? i dont think so :j

Imagine bout The Bangles Band ? hewhew, yep, they're the one who sang along the 'Manic Monday'. Today was weird to me. there are weird things happened to me. who wants to know? if u dont want, just click on the 'x' button up there. :j

Foremost, what is manic monday? what i know is, it relates to the common phenomenon that happens every weeks for everyone. basically, children who go to school will feel bored to think of tomorrow will be MONDAY. means school hour! also the people who works, they'll totally feel lame to think of the works that are non-stop even they already had break on the weekend. ala, biasa la tu.

BUT people who do works lillahi taala, inshaa Allah he or she will make everyday as great days to think that they will give services and benefits to others as they work sincerely :3

Enough talking bout that, actually i have an unusual feelings bout today, MONDAY, 14th may 2012.

Firstly, i fell asleep after subuh. *okay that's bad* while sleeping, i've dreamt bout i ate many muffins and candies. after finished eating lustfully, suddenly i remembered that today i am fasting *hoo noo* i was in utter regret. Then i heard my mom's voice, she was calling for me to get ready. i woke up, realizing that it was my mother's real voice. *glad that it's just a dream, blom batal lg pose* it's 9 a.m. Luckily, i had taken my bath before subuh, so i get up by only washing my face, then get ready all the important documents. we went to bank muamalat to open my acc for the inquiries of uia bantuan asasi. :>

No parking there in Rawang *hoo noo* so we went acah tak acah je park in forbidden area. unfortunately, after succeed getting the atm bankcard, we got to pay 'parking lot' for 100ringgits in the Majlis Perbandaran Selayang. asdfghjkl !

Mom felt so restless. me also. i felt guilty coz the incidence happened due to my business to open my bank acc. so i decided to use my money to pay for the fine. *ohh so sayang! duit gaji melayang!* but i insisted to do so. okay, tu duit dunia, bukan boleh bawa ke kubur, bayar jelah,, lagipun boleh jadi duit kebajikan utk rakyat jelata selayang -..- *my thought.

As mom already paid for the so-called-parking-fee , i feel relieved to hear that we only need to pay 50ringgits. *ouhhyeayhhh awesome!* thanks majlis perbandaran selayang for being very generous to us, hikhok! alhamdulillah......

When i think back and flashback, i realized one thing and learnt many things.

once bitten, twice shy

means, once we done a mistake and busted by others, we'll never have desire to do the same mistake again.

I also can think more maturely *cewahh* about rezeki comes from Allah and He is the one who can control all the flows of rezeki. Like what happened previously, we can't even determine that this might happen to us, i mean the 100ringgits payment at the so far place from our home. *jauh tuu selayang* This thing makes us realize that rezeki can be taken back by Allah in anytime. Specially when someone get robbed? sabo jelah sis. ^.^"

Okay, that's all. on my way to improve english! must exempt EPT until Level 6 so that can get 1 year only  for the foundation program at Centre For Foundation Studies in IIUM, inshaa Allah. yosh yosh chaiyok!

scratchscratch finished!

Thursday, May 10, 2012

Positive thinking.

This is my passion, why i feel less confident with it?

idk y, maybe because of the stories i've read that shows many architecture students languished of their life full of rejections and fatigue?

or, maybe their lack of free time by only doing assignments and project non-stop? 

or maybe because of this course which needs a large amount of money buying all those archie things?

or maybe. i'm really not sure whether i can stand to carry on this course for 8 semesters long...

bad thoughts, go away from me! >.<

 *slap!* get up! throw away all those thriveless  thinking!

why you need to be so scare to live your passion? nothing can make you happier if you take other than architects. you'll surely be jealous of aed students if you're in other course someday.

believe in yourself, u can do it. you can chase your own dream coz the dream is slower than you *maybe

do you remember.....

And We charge no soul except [with that within] its capacity, and with Us is a record which speaks with truth; and they will not be wronged.
(Al-Mukminun, 62)

take note.
i have this ability, which others rarely have. they have other abilities, but not this. 
this is a talent that i should use properly and correctly to give benefits to others. those people need your service even it's unofficially done and could not be seen by bare eyes. 

Surely there is ease after hardship. Aye, surely there is ease after hardship.
(Al-Inshiraah, 5-6)

So, anything happen, don't think too long. if you say it's difficult to take this course, it's normal. everything's not easy, life has it's rainbows and storms. the happiness gives bless and problems make it uniquer. nobody lives with no problems. so cheer up!

okay, i'm trying my best! inshaa Allah. i want to make my parents happy to have a successful daughter after 20++ years they raised me.

unik kan masjid ni. smart!

okay! no doubt. this is the only path that i really like. so i'll not kill my own passion only to live easy.

how about you outside there? are you ready to take the challenge to be an aed students? or other type of student? i am, inshaa Allah. may Allah bless our efforts.

scratchscratch finished!

Thursday, May 3, 2012

Hai korang. Semoga kita berjumpa.

I'm an ordinary afterschool student who has less pressure than any other teenager. because of what? because i have a very relaxing time and enjoy every moment while waiting for the upu result ^.^ (alhamdulillah). while waiting, i've done many things, so many that i myself can't describe it one by one. and one of the interesting moment is when i 'met' new friends in social sites (like other did :j).

is that phrases look like manglish ? oh well, just ignore it. i'm practicing. it's been a very long time. :D

Not to be weird of, when you see me looking at the laptop screen until 6hours++ a day. Why so long? because this flat modern technology gadget has so many information that i never knew before. developing our brain in a long break is necessary, to make sure it keeps thinking and working.

Enough of the nonsense things i've typed. what i'm gonna say here is about the distance relationship in cyber world. *woaaa,, clapclap* anyway, it's a common thing, am i right? yes it is. for me, it's a new thing as i just moved out from the hostel life since 5 months ago. i could add up my own friends  besides of my friends in previous schools; they are my cyber friends :)

Since this long break, i've learnt to not being choosy in befriending others. frankly, i was a ... er,, what to say? you know that kinda girl who always think too long before make others as her friend. *that was my past*. but now i'm learning to accept others no matter how kind or bad they are, how selfish or talkative they are, or how popular or ordinary they are. because everyone has their own talent also weakness *including me*

To you, you, and you ! (facebook, twitter, and blogger friends) thank you very much that you guys have kindness to be my friend. hope that we have chance to meet in reality *if Allah wills* and if not here in this world, pray that we can meet there, in His Jannah. May this relationship enriches our friendship value and also gives benefits to each of us. 

I don't want to list down all the names here, this is just so you know. *siapa makan cili, dia yang terasa pedasnya* hikhik,, yeah, it's true. no need to mention here if your names are already in my brain hippocampus . InsyaAllah, it'll remain there unless i got Alzheimer? *nauzubillah*

Dear you who read this,

You must been wondered what type of girl i am, right? don't think too much, because i'm just an ordinary muslimah, i'm not as kind as an ustazah, neither as bad as a witch. i'm just plain me, a girl who always need tarbiyah in her everyday life so she could avoid world defamation, as much as she could. i need you to bring me to the Truth, leading me to Allah's pleasure. moreover, this is the real responsible for us, which is to remind for goodness and advice from the wrongdoings. 
most importantly, never assume much unless we meet :)

that's all. sayang korang kerana Allah s.w.t. :j

scratchscratch finished! assalam :)