Tuesday, August 22, 2017

Why All of These Happening to me?

Yes. Whenever I felt down, feel hopeless, felt hurt by the worldly events, this sentence somehow popped out from nowhere.

Lately it happened.

My lifestyle seems differ from people around me. Different from my own family.
I often ask; why I am different? Why can't I be normal and ease my thinking as similar as the other people around me? Why can't I pursue architecture in a way, not too much struggle? Even I've struggled till death, the result still below the standard. "Look, your own friend almost ready to pursue her master, and you're still nowhere to be found and looking for your permanent job", curse you negative thought.

This is not to brag. This is curiousness which always strike me since I was a child. Since in Primary school. It could be some kindof blessing, at the same time; disaster.

Tried myself to figure out whichever stream fits my own personality. But it seems to hurt my loved ones. It's  either I live the life I didn't enjoy & satisfy people's expectation towards me... or live the life I've ever dreamt of & let go of their hopes towards me.

It's very. Complicated.

Yet it's not good to blame the destiny.
Asking "Why All of These Happening To Me" is something looks like, ungrateful.

Guess that I'll just follow the flow. Keep on moving. Do the best that I could & let Him decide for me. Not to think too much. "Anyway, architecture had taught you of many different perspective of life, met you up with many great personalities aite? I believe many more hikmah you can derive from this field inshaa Allah," said positive thought.

You can do this. Just do it.

Sincerely,
A girl who always need self assurance & positive words.